James arthur dating rita ora

15-Feb-2021 22:00

I spent the time destroying myself with junk food and drugs.I lived on Burger King for breakfast, KFC for lunch and Subway and Domino’s pizzas for supper.He said: “During my recovery, I’d worked hard at teaching myself how to stand above my thoughts, to be aware of them, and watchful of them.I began to enjoy the positive benefits of the moment.And on the night he won the ITV singing contest, he went back to his hotel room and cried because he felt so lonely — and more addictions kicked in.James explained: “I was on tour and I looked like a whale.

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I’d smash on £1,000 when I was stoned, convinced I could win. “If I won I might blow £3,000 on another bet and lose the lot. “My antidepressants numbed my emotions so much that I was prepared to take the hit just to feel the buzz, just to feel something.” But he ended up almost £200,000 in debt and was 24 hours from bankruptcy. His anxiety attacks became a nightly occurrence, he began hearing voices and would visualise himself dead. He said: “I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die, and I had demons telling me I should end it all. There was no way I could ever claw myself back to sanity, let alone success.

“They were usually the same type — Babestation girls or glamour models.

If I saw someone I fancied I’d contact her on social media and tell her blatantly I wanted to have sex. There would be no emotional attachment and it would be just pure sex, and with one or two exceptions that was how it was.” James had been riding high after winning The X Factor and hitting the chart with his single Impossible. This is so confusing.” The pair met up while James was on The X Factor tour and ended up in Rita’s tour bus.

He said: “I had a lot of sexual encounters I can’t even remember, because I was so high on weed.

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I felt self-conscious about putting on weight, and sometimes I insisted on keeping my T-shirt on during sex, because I felt so fat and disgusting. I craved sex, I had to have it and I needed it to fill the void and make myself feel better.” His anxiety had started to mount while on The X Factor.“I was struggling for survival every day and I didn’t even feel like myself.