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The fuller story could be as simple as,“Eh, not much to tell, we met really young, we found out we weren’t the right match and decided to part ways as friends. ‘all the way divorced’ until the legally-mandated clock finishes counting down, in practice it’s been over between us for a while. I just know that sometimes people can be tetchy about this kind of stuff and I don’t want to be anything but straightforward.” Trust that most people who want the same kind of fun, casual, friendly connection you do will follow your lead, not be totally thrown by the fact that you have Been In Love Before, reward honesty and make talking about awkward stuff easy (a good thing in a potential sex partner), and take you as you come.And you’ll have room to say It’s okay for you to be dating even though the ink on your divorce decree can’t even get wet for 330 more days.My general recommendation for stuff like this is to err on the side of being totally straightforward, get disclosures that make you nervous done before you meet someone in person if you can comfortably and safely do it, and don’t apologize for who you are.You have done and are doing nothing to be ashamed of.Not everyone needs to know every detail of your life the second they scroll by your pretty face on an app, but you actually want the people who would be shook by the idea of you being not-quite-fully-divorced or who are judgmental about divorce to self-select out of your personal dating pool.You could always test something out in your dating profile and see if it affects your matches – “Recently out of a marriage and into a summer of meeting new people” – etc. But you could also hold off until you’re chatting with someone promising before you meet them in person.Your best move is to wish them well, move on, and keep on disclosing to the next hot interesting dude.
All my family and friends say I have been adjusting surprisingly well, but for me the relationship died a long time ago.
They’re gonna feel even more off-balance, like, what else is this person not telling me, what else doesn’t match up in this picture?