Abuse dating teen
Most dwell in the broad expanse between good and vicious: the land of the unhealthy relationship.Danielle Gindele is a digital peer advocate—the person in the ether who responds when teens text or chat to the loveisrespect hotline.Consider that kiss by the lockers: Sign of affection or statement of ownership?“In high school, all the time, there’d be boyfriends making their girlfriends skip class to make out in front of the lockers, or making them make out in front of their friends,” says Hunter.Think about GPS locating apps.” Last year, Chavarria had a student—“a stunningly beautiful girl, intelligent and athletic”—who was shoved to the ground by her boyfriend during soccer practice.Chavarria was called to intervene, and she offered not just a listening ear but also a physical barrier between the exes during class changes. Many more teens are in relationships that, if not exactly like Rihanna and Chris Brown, are nonetheless unequal and unhealthy with one partner dominating the other. Let me see your phone,” mimics Maryland high school teacher Erika Chavarria. What contemporary media presents to teens and tweens as “love” today is actually about sex and control. This adds up to 1.5 million high school students last year alone.
It reveals different dating scenarios—“your partner randomly stops by your job, even though you told them it makes you uncomfortable”— and asks students to choose whether the scenario indicates a healthy, unhealthy, or abusive relationship.
Adults coo about puppy love, or shrug at the infatuations of teenagers. Flip through a mag: See 17-year-old Kardashian sib Kylie Jenner pairing up with 25-year-old rapper Tyga. Or, turn on the radio: Hear Justin Bieber crooning to his “prize possession.” Add in 24/7 access to hand-held technology, including apps that geo-track a sweetheart’s every move, and it is no wonder that nearly 20,000 13- to 17-year-olds reached out to the hotline last year.
Often, from our perspective, these hot and heavy love affairs are like fireworks. At best, we’re talking about students distracted from learning.
“You have this unique and powerful connection to students that not a lot of other adults do,” Colomé says.
“An educator can be the guide to recognition of self-worth, and recognition of the resources that are available.” Standing in the doorway to her Wilde Lake High School classroom, Erika Chavarria observes the interactions among teenagers in the halls. “Generally what I’m seeing are relationships that are pretty unhealthy with few instances of equal partnership and respect.” When lovebirds march lockstep, arm in arm, is the closeness a choice?And then when things don’t go well, there’s all the put downs on Facebook,” says Hunter. “Technological abuse is power control through digital means,” says Uribe.